Skin Cancer

So, I was diagnosed with Basal Cell Carcinoma - Skin Cancer in late October.  Of all the cancers to get - skin cancer is the best one to get - yes, I know.  And of the three types of skin cancer - this is the type to get, yes, I know.  Everyone has these surgeries as they get older, a couple people even told me.  Just pay the surgery center bills and all will be fine!  Well, I have since learned this is not true.  And it's not really that simple.

When I went in for my cancer removal surgery it was just in the doctor's office - no big deal - in and out within an hour.  My in-laws came into town to help me out with the girls while I went in for the surgery and it was even . . . dare I say it, relaxing?! I remember telling my dermatologist, you know you have a crazy life at home with two kids under 4, when you are having surgery on your face for cancer and it feels like you are at the spa - as no one is asking you for anything, you get to lay down, and people are actually asking you if you are comfortable!  That got a great laugh out of the staff, of course - but it was the truth.

After my second surgery to remove the cancer that had spread

But when I got a phone call a week later from my dermatologist, telling me to call her back as soon as possible and to have her paged if she is in a surgery- I realized it's not really that simple.  I proceeded to wait on hold for 20 minutes to talk directly to her - it gives you a LOT of time to think.  To think about the choices I've made and the example I want to set for my fair-skinned, beautiful daughters.  My doctor finally got to the phone and informed me that the cancer had spread.  She said she was surprised as usually this is a slow-growing cancer, but it had spread into the tissue around it and we needed to schedule a longer surgery, Mohs surgery at an actual surgery center as soon as possible to ensure we get it all this time.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I took it all in, as she discussed how it could spread further into my lymph glands if we don't get it all based on it's location, etc. But, she was confident they would get it this time (just as she was confident they got it all last time).

I see a wonderful dermatologist every year to check my moles and freckles and have done this since I was in my 20's under the advisement of my OBGYN at the time.  I am blue-eyed with blond hair and very fair skin.  I get moles and freckles very easily when in the sun and loved to get tan from a very early age up through my 20's when I would travel to exotic locations for work and always stay an extra day to "soak up the sun" and relax.  I even worked at the Park Department in my hometown my summers home from college, wearing jean shorts and tank tops every single day while I worked outside in the heat all.day.long.  I would mow the McPherson County airport on the big rider lawn-mowers and  put my feet up, as to get a more even tan as I worked.  I was raised in the 80's when we were told to be healthy was to have a little color to our skin.  Family pictures were always done in the summer - so as we would all have a tan - you get the idea.  This was the culture back then.  So many people have made excuses for me, "Well, we all were doing it as teens"but that is not an excuse.

I have very few regrets in my 40 years of life - truly I don't.   My personality is one that I act with purpose and great thought goes into my decisions.  I truly feel blessed that I really don't have any regrets.  However, I do regret that I was so vain and selfish in my youth when it came to the color of my fair skin.  For the last five or more years I have worn sunscreen every single day (SPF40 on my face) and often on my body when out with the girls at the park, zoo, etc.  But I can't erase those years in the past.  Now, I look at it as I was so very selfish - as my whole purpose to stay healthy right now is for my daughters.  I need to be around and healthy for them at least another 20 years while they are home - at the very least.

Kate now looks at my scar at night when we are cuddling and kissing, rocking before bed.  She says, "owwie" - then she kisses it and looks at me with her big blue eyes and her gorgeous fair skin and I pray that she and Molly will learn from my mistakes.  No tan is a healthy tan.  Healthy skin is the skin color they were born with - which is so gorgeous!  I hope I can teach them to be proud of their fair pale complexions and that tan does not equal healthy or beautiful - in fact, quite the opposite!

So, my two surgeries are now behind me.  I will continue to go to my dermatologist once every 6 or 12 months to be "checked" for the rest of my life.  I now have to check the box, "Cancer" when asked on the forms.  I don't care what type of cancer it is - when you are not even 40 years old yet and you have two tiny babies that need you around for many more years - it is scary.  I will forever be changed from this experience.  I may not have 30 more years or 20 more years - or even next year.  I just don't know.  All I know is that I have today and I feel so incredibly blessed to have my compassionate husband as my partner in life, and these two beautiful little girls who I can be a Mommy to TODAY.

Kate "Hiding"

Playdate with McKinley!

McKinley and her little brother Zander came over this morning for a long awaited play-date!  Molly took dance classes with McKinley the last two summers and we see her at church functions - but other than that they don't get to see each other that often anymore now that they are in different pre-schools. The girls had fun making jewelry and playing dress-up together!  And Kate got to play with her little brother Zander who is just a few months older than she!

Creighton Basketball

Mike drove up to Omaha Saturday for the Creighton vs. Georgetown game.  A bunch of his friends from college who are all over the country now met up with him in Omaha  - a few missing from this pix but this is all I could get.  Mike had a great time and a Creighton W makes it all the better!

What We Love to Play with Our Daddy - a video tribute from Molly & Kate

Frozen!

Not sure if you guys have seen Frozen yet - the new animated, Disney film that is in theatres right now.  But, Molly saw it over Christmas with her cousin Isabella and we are all obsessed with the music!  We play it often and Molly always wants to act it out.  Here are a few pix of her re-inacting the scenes with her good friend, Ellie this week!  Molly played the part of Anna and Ellie was Elsa.  It's so crazy how these girls have seen the movie ONE time in the theatre and have every scene memorized!  Kalyn and I were upstairs playing with the little girls (Olivia & Kate) and the big girls ran upstairs so excited shouting, "Introducing Anna & Elsa in Disney on Ice!" as they skated around our dining room singing all the songs . . .too too cute.

Kate's Turn!

Grandma & Grandpa McGinnis gave Kate a free month pass of Gymboree for Christmas!!  We had mentioned that we would like to start taking her to a class once a week while Molly is at preschool and this present came at the perfect time!  I brought her for the first time this morning and to say she loved it - would be a HUGE understatement.  

I took a couple quick pix with my iphone when we first arrived and she was checking out the room.  She wasn't nervous at all - just excited and wide-eyed, as if she were thinking - WOW - is this for me to play on?!?!  There were only two other little 1.5 year olds in her class and she enjoyed playing with them.  She especially loved the slides, the parachute time and the bubbles!!!!

I can't wait for us to have this special time together on Tuesdays over the next few months!   

Everyday Stuff . . .

The other day Molly came across my ruler in my desk and had all sorts of questions about it - How do we measure, What is an inch?  How big is an inch?  You get the idea . . . after I explained it to her - she asked me for a stack of Post-its, a marker, and a tape measure and the ruler.  She told me she was the "Measuring Girl" and she proceeded to measure everything in the house, then write it down (asking us how to spell the objects for her) along with the inches of how long it was  - she loved making the little " for inches.  She had so much fun doing this for over an hour - even measuring herself and her sister!   

Playdate for Kate

My friend, Kylie, from McPherson lives here in KC now - works at Sprint - parallel worlds, it's true!  We've been family friends since she was born:  her mom was my 3rd grade teacher, I babysat Kylie, Molly was the flower girl in her wedding - yada, yada, yada.  Anyway, she just had her first baby 13 months ago - Ms. Addie Jo!  It's been awhile since we got the girls together to play - so we had them over this morning on this MLK Holiday!  The girls were funny together, feeling each other out.  Thanks for coming over - we loved seeing you guys and can't wait to meet Baby Girl #2 in May!

Molly showing Addie where she hides the "good" toys - the remote controls!

The girls attempting a "get away" up the stairs . . .

Everyday Stuff.

Molly exclaimed Friday morning when she awoke, I feel THIS much better Mom!!!! - as she stretched her arms out as far she could reach!  I was so excited to go to the grocery store with her today.  Just everyday stuff, that's always more fun with Molly. 

Our Sickly Week.

Poor Baby Kate awoke from her nap Sunday afternoon with vomit all over her bed.  She was crying and so scared.  It. Broke. My. Heart.

I quickly cleaned her up and held her as Mike got Molly out of the house to go do "something fun!" and I held Kate as she puked all over herself and me over 10x over the course of the afternoon.   After I changed my clothes 6x I finally decided to just stay naked and just kept her in her diaper.  

Anyway, Mike and I basically bleached the whole house - praying Molly and the rest of us would not get this nasty stomach virus going around!  Well, around 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday afternoon I started to get sick and around 4:00 a.m. Thursday morning Molly awoke with vomit all over HER bed.  It's BACK!  Poor Molly has never been sick like this -  

Holding Molly's hair back as she pukes - I think about how very blessed we are.  Some parents have to go through this all the time with their kids - they are in/out of hospitals, have auto-immune disorders where they get sick easily and often, etc.  We are so very blessed that seeing our kids like this is so rare. 

So, today- with puke and spit up on me and no shower - I feel incredibly blessed.  Blessed to be a stay-at-home mom at times like this and get to hold my kids all day long without worrying about meetings I'm missing or a conference call to get on.  Blessed to have a supportive and loving partner in my husband (Did I mention he was the one washing the vomit filled sheets at 4:00 a.m so I could hold Molly's hair back and then he ran to the only store he could find open at 5:00 a.m. for Sprite and saltines?) and most of all, blessed to have a healthy family 99% of the time.  A few pix from our sickly week . . .

Kate is starting to feel a little better - and misses her sister playing with her so much! All day long she would randomly walk up to Molly and lay on her chest or hug her or kiss her.  She just "knew" something was not right with her.  

Molly fell asleep in the chair and Kate still sat by her to keep her company.

One more quick pix - while Kate was moving a littler slower this week while sick - I cut 2" off the back of her hair to do away with her "mullet".  I felt a little sentimental afterwards as her long curls in the back were ADORABLE - but she really does look as cute as a button with her little bob and her hair is still very curly!

Drawing & Coloring. . .

Molly loves drawing so much - I had to capture her drawings from today so I remember these sweet pictures . . 

{Molly: a self-portrait}

{Our Home} 

You can see our Christmas tree, kitchen table, our fireplace, tulips in the front yard and NO, I don't keep the Christmas tree up until we see tulips. 

{Rainbow Slide}

I really love this one as she made it just for me - "a rainbow slide that goes backwards and you land in the clouds so you can hop, hop, hop on the clouds when you get off!"

{Rainbow}

{A Snowflake with Our Family On It}

I love how she imagines her hair so much longer than it actual is - the power of visualization. 

Kelly's Having a Baby!

One of my besties, Kelly, is pregnant with her 2nd baby girl!  And we are all so over the moon excited for her - we threw a brunch this morning to celebrate!!

The Hostesses with the Guest of Honor

{Jessica, Brynn, Kelly, Jenny, Me}

{Kelly, Jenny, Kelly}

{Kelly's Mom, Elaine;  Kelly; Kelly's MIL, April}

Christmas Gifts with McGinnis Grandparents!

As I posted earlier this weekend, Pat & Pat came to stay with us for a 3-day weekend to celebrate a belated Christmas together.  They were to come earlier in the season but were under the weather so post-poned to this past weekend!  We were so excited to have them visiting us!  I loved cooking and baking all weekend while the girls played with their grandparents!  

Here are a few more pix from the weekend - opening Christmas presents: